Yes, she's back. Sunshine. I am so very excited! I do enjoy rain and thunderstorms, to a point. However, its gotten to the point my little dude is very anxious. He's started obsessing with weatherbug, reading alerts and checking out the weather maps every five minutes. The subtle shift of afternoon to evening has proven to be a high anxiety time of day. If there is so much as one cloud in the sky, he's on high alert. The sound of the grain and cattle trucks driving by have suddenly become "thunder"... this is not a new sound around here, the trucks, that is. The wind sets him on edge, he's now fully expecting 2" hail with every breeze. This is Montana, the plains, its windy...All. The. Time. I've always noticed him to be a little "high strung", if you will. Quick to cry, screams in anger, sometimes leaving a "calling card" of where he's been in these situations, usually minor. Usually. He's always been a bit of a momma's boy, the youngest of three and the only boy around most of the time. But this week, it's come to a head.
The other day, I was literally preparing myself for another trip to the ER for an appendectomy. He was crying, had cramps and stabby pain, loss of appetite, etc. He was presenting very similar to Lucy when she ended up having her appendix removed. I watched for fever, monitored his pain levels and tried to keep him calm. Eventually he settled down and I continued to ponder the day, his moods and actions, where we'd been and what we'd done. It all kept circling back. The main reason I hesitated on going to the hospital was something he kept saying. He said, "I have a nervous tummy." Okay, I can certainly sympathize with that one. He didn't want me out of his sight, at all. When we were visiting with friends he was just fine but he kept wanting me around when it was just us and the girls. Honestly, he was like our male dogs who must be near/on me at all times. So, I did the 20 questions. I won't go through them all (You're welcome.) but suffice it to say, he misses his daddy. And, obviously, we all do.
It was then I really put two and two together. He is certainly his mother's child. After ruling out a ride to the ER I started really looking at his "symptoms." He wants to be in bed. He wants his S.B. (Soft Blanket) and mommy present at all times. He doesn't have any strength, feels weak. He doesn't want to go outside, ride his bike or play trucks. This is Nick we are talking about, Mr. Outdoors. He was sad, lonely and had an upset tummy. I'm still not ruling out a little stomach something since the girls and I have all had a few queasy moments in the last 24 hours, but I know this is something different going on. He sounds like me. When I have those darker moments I don't like to talk about. When I just get to feeling "funky" for no apparent reason. Low, down, tired and helpless. Yes, I can sympathize. I can sympathize all to well. It makes me rethink the tantrums, the sensitivities, the anger, the frustration, the screaming and yelling, and the tears. So many tears for no (?) reason. Holy Light Bulb Moment, ~smacks forehead~ Duh!
So, here we are right now. I am watching him in a different way and giving him some extra patience and mommy time. He doesn't want to be alone and that is something I can help him with. He got outside for a bit today and he has had an improvement in mood. We've had smiles and giggles, we've also had some tears and fears. As long as mommy's around he seems able to cope. We've had some herbal teas like "Sleepytime Vanilla", "Tension Tamer" and "Sleepytime Echinacea Complete Care" and we've had gatorade and water, just in case there's a dehydration issue. We are slowly getting an appetite back and seeming a little relaxed. We seem to be pulling out of the funk.
I now know there may be an underlying reason for all the negative feelings. I listen differently and observe more. I see pieces that may, or may not, be falling into a certain pattern. I can be on the lookout for too much of any one thing. I know, I am no doctor or therapist, nor do I pretend to be. I simply see myself in him and pray he doesn't have as many struggles as I have had in this area. For now I think we are okay and I am optimistic he will continue to do better. I certainly have to be more aware, for everyone's sake.
So, with this new addition to the stress I am much more anxious to have Daddy home. Maybe he'll settle down a bit then, maybe not. But, I will at least have someone to talk to about it. Has anyone else been through this? Please, let me know!
Hoping everyone has a wonderful weekend.
~Ash
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